katrina vanessa
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Post by katrina vanessa on Jul 18, 2008 21:57:53 GMT -5
katrina vanessa( tag: zoltin zerbest ) katrina walked out onto the pitch, refreshed that morning, though guilty as anyone could be. she sighed, shook out her hair and ran her fingers through it. she inhaled and exhaled the fresh, clean air of the quidditch pitch and spun around in the middle of it. she wasn't wearing her quidditch outfit today, no, she was wearing a light blue skirt that went down to her knees and a nice white polo on which made her look as innocent as she could be. though, she felt dirty. used and probably a little pathetic. how she could do that, well... she had absolutely no idea. she closed her eyes and sat side saddle on her broomstick, letting it rise up into the air slowly and begin a slow, smooth lap around the stadium. kat's wand was out behind her, creating a flurry of stars trailing behind her.
people may have thought her to be smiling, refreshed and happy as she sat on her broomstick, looking almost like an angel, but inside... she felt like a devil, or the devil's most recent project. it was a terrible sensation, one she wished would go away as soon as she could make it... but, it just wouldn't. she had almost - almost come to kissing christopher montgomery and by the look in her eyes at the time, she wondered if she had had anything else in store. it had stopped the moment those voices in her brains made her stop and she had, but she had reluctantly. and for that, she found that she felt as though she had killed someone she loved. and technically she had. she had hurt herself and had found her heart broken the next morning. but today, today wasn't going to be a happy date. she was going to tell zoltin everything. what happened between her and chris, what she had been thinking a few nights ago in the common room and cry. she just hoped he wouldn't just push her away.
she didn't know if she would be able to make it without maybe a calm, soothing smile. though, that was only going to happen when pigs flew. which meant that she wasn't expecting it. as katrina flew around the pitch for the third time, she was slowly lowering herself to the ground and thinking about the eighth deadly sin that god forgot to mention. there were the usuals, gluttony, list, sloth... but there was also hope, which was one of the most deadly and painful of them all.
she sighed as her feet finally hit solid ground and continued to sit there on her broom as though it was a chair and felt a small tear slip down her rosy cheek and land on her pale fingers before she choked out another and wiped it away before it had the chance to leave a mark. that was when she felt the presence of someone walking toward her.
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Zoltin Zerbest
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Posts: 84
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Post by Zoltin Zerbest on Jul 19, 2008 4:19:45 GMT -5
. . x CAN'T regret WHAT I DID FOR love[/blockquote][/center][/font][/b] He had been thinking about what he was going to say since he and Chasper had gone their separate ways. The date had been knocking on his brain through all of his studies, reminding him of what was to come. And unlike their previous dates, this was not about kissing Katrina, making her laugh, and being extra silly around her. The reminders were about admitting that he had a crush on Chasper Jasper to most likeyl his future wife and mother of his children.
Not that he had really been thinking about that. He had invisioned her name with Zerbest on the end instead of O'Neil, or O'Neil-Zerbest, he would let her have her name if she wanted it. He laughed when he thought of how Rick would react if he found out, but then cringed inside when he remembered they weren't on speaking terms anymore.
Still, other than that, he wasn't really thinking that far in the future, just to the next time he would see her. But it sort of seemed like they would end up together, it wasn't like there was anybody else. Crushes weren't loves. And he loved Katrina Vanessa O'Neil, the girl with two syllables in each of her names.
And he was just about to tell the Gryffindor he loved that he had a slight crush on a Ravenclaw a year behind them. Houses weren't the problem...saying it was the problem. He wouldn't be surprised if Katrina slapped him, and he wouldn't really mind it either. Zoltin felt like he deserved a few slaps.
Underneath his arm was an early broomstick, one with a name he didn't even remember. He was sure it was past Comet, but didn't really know for absolute sure. And when he finally got out of his little thought bubble, he saw Katrina with her superior broomstick. And he wondered why they rode on brooms, anyway, who in their right mind thought of playing a sport in the air with a broom? Seriously.
And when he saw Katrina, even just her back, his bubbliness immediately hyped. Zoltin tried to be secretive about it, but Kat always seemed to know when he was around, and his huge smile stretching from one side of his face to another was probably, somehow, loud. He snuck up from behind her and then, when right next to her, captured her in a kiss.
This was a muggle movie star kiss. He'd scooped her up into his arms and lifted her a good foot plus off of the ground. Both of their brooms were hovering lonely above the ground, completely abandoned. When he released her, Zoltin saw her face, and while had a twinge of happiness in there, there was more unhappiness than its opposite.
"Well," he stated, looking down at her with a confused face, "that wasn't exactly what I was expecting. But I'll work on my tongue skills and you'll be amazed next time." This comment made her blush profusely, which just made him beam, and put her back on her feet.
And then he remembered his top priority on this date. Damn. "Oh," his heart fell, "and I have to tell you something. But why don't we practice a bit first?"
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katrina vanessa
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Post by katrina vanessa on Jul 19, 2008 9:08:44 GMT -5
katrina vanessa katrina had let a few more tears loose before feeling herself being lifted up into the air and nearly melted when she felt his lips on hers. she wrapped one arm around his neck, holding back anymore tears that threatened to come, and kissed him back. but when he finally let her go, she had to hold back another sob. he looked so beautiful standing there, nothing to bother him and one hundred percent innocent. she had always wanted it to be him. the one who could make her smile all the time. but lately, she'd been confused. because it hadn't always been him, and that was what frightened her so much. she missed it, when they were in their fifth year, they hadn't really cared about the people around them and katrina would do anything to bring those moments back.
as she watched his smile falter, she remembered why she had decided to come today rather than hole herself up in her room and cry her eyes out for the billionth time. she nodded and found her footing on the ground again, "yeah... i do to." she said, staring at the ground, but then shook her head. she didn't want to spend time with someone who was going to hate her after this. though nothing really happened, she knew it was going to had she not stopped it all and run back to the school. she frowned and choked back a sob before finally looking him in the eye. she had to sit back down on her broomstick to keep from falling over, he looked so... not like him. like he had changed drastically during the days where she had only seen him in some of her classes.
"zoltin..." she started, "i.. i almost kissed someone. christopher." she said, her voice shaking nervously. and even though telling the truth was supposed to make someone feel better, it only made her feel so much worse, "i mean... we didn't actually but... but we were going to." she left out the firewhisky part since she didn't think it would help that she had gone to the hog's head to try some firewhisky on her own. she placed her head in her hands, "and i didn't mean to but i-i guess i had wanted to..." she said, crying into her hands. she hated herself right now and wanted to die. she knew that she would never stop loving zoltin, she would never stop wanting him, but still. it hurt to feel this pain that she had done something that had betrayed him, and she didn't know if he was hurt, disappointed or just... shocked. she snuck a glance in his direction, nervously waiting for him to start yelling at her, or do something that would make her heart officially snap in two.
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Zoltin Zerbest
gryffindor
last in the alphabet, first to stand up
Posts: 84
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Post by Zoltin Zerbest on Jul 19, 2008 17:49:18 GMT -5
. . + troubles MELT LIKE lemon drops[/blockquote][/center][/font][/b] "zoltin...i.. i almost kissed someone. christopher." It took him a moment to understand. It was just such a sentence he had never expected to hear and all so sudden, too. And once he did understand, there was a strike to his chest as if it was knocked backward. Kiss? Christopher? Christopher. He knew that boy was going to be trouble, he just knew it. How many times had he said he didn't trust him, only to feel that he was being some sort of jealous boyfriend? But now that he was right...well, it didn't feel so good. "i mean... we didn't actually but... but we were going to. and i didn't mean to but i-i guess i had wanted to..." Somehow, he knew that if they actually had been a kiss, a lip to lip kiss, he would have been so much worse. And he could feel that there was so much more to drop. That he had slightly lost his trust in Kat, but his heart hadn't broken and that things go on. Still, her wanting to was just another unexpected blow.
She was crying, too. It brought him to tears to watch her cry, something he probably would have done even without the circumstances. So now he stood beside her, completely stunned, with tears flowing easily out of his eyes and a choke just to add to it. If he didn't breathe soon he would hiccup.
Zoltin had always been one of those people who knew when someone needed a hug. Of course, it wasn't very hard to tell, but it was always first step for him to feel compassion towards someone in pain than hatred or annoyance for their actions. So, with such personality, he stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her. His chin on top of her soft, wonderful hair, holding her against his chest while she continued to bury her head in her hands, sobbing.
"Kat," he choked out in a meant-to-be whisper, "stop crying. Please. Please stop crying. It's okay, really. I mean, well, it's not okay-okay," he had a slight laugh, somehow, "it hurts, but I think it might actually hurt for you more than it does for me. Please stop crying."
She stepped out of his embrace and looked up to him with her sad, red eyes. He thought that she blamed herself too much, way too much. And he didn't want to see her like this.
"Really, Kat, I mean, it really does hurt," whenever he said that it felt like the pain worsened for a second, "but you didn't, you, look at you. It would hurt so much more if it was an actual kiss. And if you didn't regret it. I mean, I'd kind of like to understand why you wanted to...but not now."
He leaned against his broomstick now, for his legs had started shaking. It felt like he had just run a marathon. She had done her admission, now he was to do is, like he planned. Though, he didn't think he would have to follow news like that. "So, so, soo..." Zoltin breathed, "I have something to admit, too. You know how in first year, I sorta had a crush on your friend Paige, but it wasn't all that strong 'cause you know...And now I don't really have a trace of that anymore. Well, see, I sort of have a crush on someone, too, and I spent the a few hours with her yesterday."
He was beginning to get cold feet. Something told him he wasn't going to explain this right and he really didn't want to have to drag Chasper into this. She didn't deserve that or any of the trouble he was bringing her. "We didn't do anything," he clarified, "we just hung out at Hogsmeade and talked, really. But she's-she's...yeah. I do have a crush on her, I still do, but I wouldn't do anything. I don't know how to say this, Kat," Zoltin swallowed, "but even if there was someone out there, that, you know, I...I would only just have a crush on her. Because you're it for me, Kat. There is nobody else."
"I guess there's a lot we have to talk about."
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katrina vanessa
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OHEMGEEITSLYKE ? JAZZYNOITLYKJAZZI
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Post by katrina vanessa on Jul 19, 2008 20:29:45 GMT -5
katrina vanessa katrina sobbed into zoltin's chest. he was being too nice to her. she didn't deserve this, since she had basically ruined their relationship by thinking that way about someone else. she still loved zoltin and had already sort of pictured their future, which may have sounded stupid in someone else's mind, but in kat's mind... well, she had just found it natural. especially since they had held together so long that it had just felt so great. she could hardly believe she had done that. he had always made her smile, laugh and be her complete self in front of him... and she would never find anyone else like him in her life, but she just... she blew it. she marjorly blew it. and she would never ever forget it. she was drunk, basically, and when you're drunk you should be with someone you love and not just someone you like as a friend. since that was all christopher was - a friend.
kat finally let herself slip out of his arms, no matter how much she yearned to stay in them, and let out a long sigh. she felt as though her heart a gone through a duel - making her feel exhausted, terrified but yet pleased. she was happy because he didn't just say something like, "well i guess that's it then. i'll see you around." and then walk off. she was incredibly grateful he didn't just give her one of those disappointed stares and walk off either. both options would have made katrina stand there in shock for a few moments and then crumple up crying her eyes out until they're all red.
kat hiccuped a sob and sighed. she kept her eyes trained on her feet, tucking one foot behind her calf, and trying to take a few soothing breaths since now it was out in the open. she felt herself calming down already. she smiled sadly and clasped her fingers behind her back. when he mentioned his old, past crush on paige well.. he hadn't brought that one up since she had gotten over that a few years ago. so obviously this wasn't going to be good. she grimaced when he mentioned that he liked someone. not that he didn't have a right, but that hurt a lot more then her almost kissing christopher. she wouldn't mean it if she had, but he... he would kiss this girl and mean it most likely. and the way he seemed to be all upset, she suspected he had it bad. the waterworks turned on again as a whole new number of the tears that fell down her cheeks like waterfalls off a cliff.
"i... i don't know." she said uneasily, "who is she?" she asked him, half for the sake of saying something and half because she wanted to know who was making his heart race almost as much as kat did. she knew that he would always make hers race, but she had no idea that it would happen. katrina ran her fingers through her hair and wiped her eyes, ridding them of tears they may have spilt later and nodded sadly. "yeah... yeah, i guess we do." she said, sniffing for a few moments and then chancing a glance at him and immediately wishing she hadn't. he looked so... sad but disappointed at the same time, and that just made her want to cry all over again and just stuck with hiccuping again and letting her hair fall back into her eyes, so he couldn't see how easily she was about to break down again.
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Zoltin Zerbest
gryffindor
last in the alphabet, first to stand up
Posts: 84
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Post by Zoltin Zerbest on Jul 20, 2008 0:45:27 GMT -5
. . + troubles MELT LIKE lemon drops[/blockquote][/center][/font][/b] He watched Katrina heavily. While she had been better for a bit, it seemed that after he revealed his side of the confession, that she had just turned back. And it made him want to punch his own lights out and hold her once again. She had allowed her hair to fall back in her face and was hiccuping again...oh this wasn't good.
"Kat," he delicately tucked the hair in front of her face behind her hair. But as soon as he did, he felt as if he'd gone over the line. Like he wasn't allowed to act natural at these extremes, and that she probably would hurt more just by the loving action. He hated this, it was so hard. Zoltin jerked his hand back to his side and sighed.
He had to think before he said her name, or else end up singing like he always did. It wasn't his fault, her first and last name rhymed. So he decided it was best just to use one name or the other. "Chasper. It's Chasper," Zoltin sounded like he had admitted murder. But that's what it was, wasn't it? Slaughter of the heart.
"So," Zoltin said, "Where do we begin? I mean, all I can think of is, how come now? You said you wanted to," his face fell even further into depression, "why do you think...that is?"
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katrina vanessa
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Post by katrina vanessa on Jul 20, 2008 8:54:35 GMT -5
katrina vanessa kat shook her head, taking a step away from him. she didn't want him to touch her. not now. he seemed to have the same idea for the hand that had reached up to her hair had swiftly returned to his side. she wasn't used to the feeling, but this was probably the feeling of longing, pain and obvious disappointment in herself and in him. she didn't know what to think anymore. she had never felt this way and didn't really know how to act around it. instead, and ran her fingers through her own hair, tucking it away for the sake of not having any distractions.
but then the name rang out in her ears and katrina only knew that things were just getting worse. chasper. chasper jasper. that name made her blood curl even more. she had always envied her. wanted to be her, and now, here's the proof. she could make almost any guy fall for her. either emotionally, physically, mentally... and just get away with it. oh yeah, right. there were reasons why kat had always wished that in another life she could be just like her. she would stand in front of a mirror and look herself in the eye and tell herself that she was going to be like chasper. never had it worked. and now, well... now she was wondering if she just might as well let him go. she stood no chance against anything - a crush, an attraction, a lust or a longing - because either way she'd win. and kat just couldn't stand trying and loosing. it was just her nature. she didn't say anything, but her eyes and body portrayed a hundred words. none of them happy, cheerful or forgiving.
kat glanced at him, her eyes a pale blue, a dark magenta and a ring of red tied them all together. she guessed that now would be a good time to tell him why she had wanted to. "w-well.. i went to the hog's head and... and i wanted to t-try some firewhisky and... you know i have a low tolerance for... stuff like that and... well... i got a little... drunk." she said the last part as quickly as she could and put her face in her hands.
"what about you? what's making you like... her." she said, bitter in her voice when she spoke her name. and to think - she had spent the afternoon with her... flying of all things! she and kat had been on this exact pitch when kat had cared whether or not she was hurt after falling seventy feet from the air. well, now kat might've not cared. alright, that's a little over the top. she'd care, but barely. and since zoltin didn't know of that little envy bottled up inside of her, the green glaze over her eyes might give him a little shock since it had come and gone with the mention of chasper's pronoun.
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Zoltin Zerbest
gryffindor
last in the alphabet, first to stand up
Posts: 84
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Post by Zoltin Zerbest on Jul 20, 2008 20:49:06 GMT -5
. . + troubles MELT LIKE lemon drops[/blockquote][/center][/font][/b] Firewhisky? That was it? She had gotten off her rocker and almost kissed Christopher. And seeing as that would've saved her first hand of anything, seeing how it wasn't completely under her control at the point, it was a bit fishy that she hadn't. Of course, he knew why. Zoltin didn't approve of such drinks, and had never had a drink of the tainted beverages either. That obviously made his opinion less notable, with its lack of personal experience and evidence. But Zoltin was just going to assume what he was told was true. Funny thing was, although he would probably never get to test it, Zoltin was extremely good at holding his liquor.
He was obviously the one at a further fault. It was willing with him, it was his attraction, and not just an ingredient that screwed him up. Zoltin had figured that maybe Kat had just begun to get curious, as she had basically been in one romantic relationship all her life. And maybe it made her feel trapped. It didn't make him feel that way, but they weren't the same person. Maybe she would need to play the field. But, no, she just had firewhisky.
It was obvious with her flash of green that Kat had met Chasper. Which just made things better. And harder. Two fights in two days? He didn't want this. He didn't mean anything by it. It was just his...his something. It wasn't his body, because he wasn't totally lusting after Chasper, he wasn't that sort of guy in the first place. It wasn't his heart because he wasn't in love with Chasper like he was Katrina. It was something else....
"That's not fair, Kat," he mumbled, "that's not fair. I didn't mean to feel this way, and I've already told you, it isn't serious. It's fleeting. I'm not asking you for specific reasons why Chris is so attractive, although that all seems to have been an accident..."
"Dammit, Kat," he swallowed some of the tears, "you can't blame the rider for the broom's malfunctioning."
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katrina vanessa
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Post by katrina vanessa on Jul 20, 2008 21:54:36 GMT -5
katrina vanessa kat shot him a hurt look. well, obviously he didn't understand this. if he liked her looks or something, well that katrina would've understood. i mean, she liked rick's looks. very, very much. but she didn't really care for it. she didn't really want to act on it, especially since he was kind of her friend and she thought of him as more of an older brother if anything at all. she ran her fingers through her hair and exhaled. "you're right. you're not asking me why chris is so attractive, because to me he's not." she said, in a clarifying tone.
she shook her head, fighting back another waterfall before finally taking a long deep breath. "that's not true." she said softly, clearing her throat, "if someone who couldn't play the sport got on the broom that was perfectly fine. brooms feel too, you know." she said in a clipped tone before wiping her eyes, the rims of which were red, as though she had been sobbing (which she had) and the colours were still the bright emerald green and now it was a deep, blood red. she wanted to hurt her. she wanted to keep on wishing that she had never come into her life and that she had never, ever met zoltin. she hadn't necessarily done anything wrong. she... she was just curious. and curiosity wasn't a sin - as far as she was concerned.
she didn't know what zoltin thought when he was around chasper. or if he even thought at all. to come to a conclusion like that... well, that's just something beyond a simple infatuation or a lust for something more. whatever else it could be, kat could basically give that to him. but a crush? no. she didn't have a crush on anyone else - hell no. she didn't want to do that to him. apparently he didn't seem to mind. oh, alright. he did, but she didn't want to look at him, hoping he wasn't upset or pained with this reality. she thought about it and decided to lie to herself. she wanted to hurt him. to slap him and to make him wish he had - oh god. katrina said, rubbing her temples delicately. oh god, oh god, oh god. she thought more urgently. she took it all back. she didn't want to hurt him, she just wanted to get away from him. as far away as she could. she didn't want him to see her cry.
"i have to go." she said quickly, flattening her skirt, tucking some hair behind her ear and finally glancing back up at him. she spun around on her heel, taking her broom with her, and by the time she got to the entrance way of the grounds she turned around and looked at his figure, a few yards away from where she stood, far enough away not to see the tears tumbling down her pink cheeks. or she hoped, and called back to him, "and don't come after me." she turned around as she emitted a little sob and dashed out, in the midst of her tears.
occ: bleh. terrible post on my account. >.> but i just felt that she should leave now. just before i change my mind. xDD lol
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