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Post by ryan smith on Aug 20, 2008 21:14:26 GMT -5
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ryan.
[/size] you just might swallow your tongue.[/center][/font][/blockquote]
she stayed there. she stayed there, stammering and having nothing to say. he was in the middle of pouring his heart out and she had nothing to say? not even a `i just see you as a friend´...wasn't she even going to give him that? nope, not even that. she was just gonna stammer, and mumble words incoherently, making everything uncomfortable. well, making him uncomfortable. and anxious. ryan wasn't a very patient person. if she had to say something, she should say it right there and then. he had gathered the courage to tell her - couldn't she do the same?
obviously not, he thought as she looked to his eyes. she just couldn't tell him that she didn't like him back, she didn't have the courage. he wanted to hate molly so bad, he didn't want to love her anymore. the only thing he did was care about her well being, and look how she responded! she didn't give a damn about him. molly just wanted a shoulder to cry on, and didn't care if that shoulder wanted more. and then he thought he was selfish. women were just cruel.
ryan shook his head, his hair nearly covering his brown eyes. he looked down, trying to think of what to say. he was embarrassed, to say the least. he was just the typical guy who fell in love with his best friend and then was miserable when she didn't like him back. honestly, what had he been thinking when he had nearly blurted it all out? that she'd explode in cries of love and happiness? yeah right, no.
but he had promised himself he'd do it, after all. and plus, he'd feel much better if he said everything. granted it would make her feel worse for not liking him back but hey, he had it a lot worse. how to say it, however, was an entirely different ordeal. would he just tell her? could he just tell her after her vague response? it felt odd, telling a person who -obviously, by the way she had treated the matter- didn't deserve it that someone loved them. it was a rather heartless thing to think, even for him, but that was how he felt.
"so you obviously have nothing to say..."he mused, trying not to let the anger seep through his words. fail. "at least i was brave enough to tell you. after 16 years and you still can't be honest with me? you could've said something, for the love of god,"he looked at her, his face hard. he didn't want to go to the extreme of hurting her, but..., "i guess you don't think i deserve a response." he bit down on his tongue, to prevent the words `even though i love you´ from flowing out. his dignity was already tattered and broken enough, not to mention his self-esteem. he didn't want her laughing at him behind his back, although he highly doubted she'd be so mean. but hey, she hadn't been able to say anything to his best friend when he declared his love. that was like a huge I DON'T LIKE YOU sign in big, bold, black letters.
he would tell her, but maybe later, when she did say something.
if she ever did say something
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Post by molly driver on Aug 21, 2008 20:14:09 GMT -5
 ` i'm just another victim for this
molly cringed, wincing away from the pain. could he think that just because she didn't know how to say how she felt, she hated him. or, disliked him? how could anyone think that, truthfully?
part of her felt hurt and ashamed that she'd let that slip through her fingers.
"ry, non. listen to-" she cut herself off again. she didn't know if he'd believe her now, not matter what she said, or how she said it. tears welled up in her eyes this time, and a scarce few were spilling out in a timely fashion.
she looked down at her feet, hiding her face. she didn't know how to respond anymore, all thoughts had left her thoughts completely, though all she wanted was for him to listen to her. but she didn't know if he'd do that anymore.
which, she was almost positive he wouldn't.
"you want me to go again, don't you?" molly said, her tone snapping slightly. her tears streaked her face as she looked up at him.
this moment wasn't supposed to happen like this. the moment when she finally found out that he felt the same, this was not the ending it was supposed to have.
but this was the ending she'd been given now.
and the ending she'd always have to end up with.
who knew? maybe in a few decades she could finally get over him enough to be somewhat happy again. or make up with all of the people she'd made mad the past few weeks.
or, she could be slowly dying on the inside forever.
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Post by ryan smith on Aug 22, 2008 14:28:49 GMT -5
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ryan. [/size] rescue me from everything. i wish i could breathe.[/center][/font][/blockquote]
and now she was crying? are you serious? he had just gotten rejected, and she was crying? sure, he hadn't been too nice about it, but, crying? good lord. he should be feeling bad that he had actually made her cry, but he was too busy being mad at her. or wanting to be mad at her, since she had just turned him down. it's not like he had offered anything, or asked her to go out with him, but he had told her what he felt. how hard was it to say `i like you as a friend´, seriously? was she that shocked/disgusted that she couldn't even say a word? nice way to treat your friend, chica. her silence hurt him more than her words could ever do, and thats what made him mad.
she then looked down at her feet, and he sighed. why did it all have to be so complicated? why did he have to like her in the first place? if he could have just kept his emotions controlled, then all of this wouldn't be happening. they would be happily chatting about non important things, like the weather. weather conversations were very interesting with molly. everything was very interesting with molly.
"actually,"he said with a deep breath, "it's me who is leaving now,"he turned slightly, to see the time. if he didn't hurry, he would be late for their meeting. not like she cared, he was sure, but he hated being late, "i have a meeting with maddi..."he bit the inside of his cheek, didn't molly and maddi hate each other? molly wouldn't be too happy that he was going to see the girl she disliked. but hey, he had a life outside molly. even if it was hardly a life without her.
he sighed, and started to walk up the hill slowly. a couple more meters and he'd be crossing the bridge, then the great hall. up the stairs and into the common room, finally. only a couple more meters and he wouldn't see molly again. and tell her that he loved her. unless he did it now. he spun on his feet, and faced molly again. this time, however, they were more apart, as if the wall between them had finally made itself obvious.
"something happened...that night, that you don't remember,"he cleared his throat and messed with his hair. he couldn't stop fidgeting around. "and i figured...since i was being honest and all, that i should remind you. i wouldn't be completely honest with you if i didn't tell you."he pursued his lips, trying to regain all his courage. it's not like it mattered if he didn't tell her, she probably knew already. she probably realized that her pathetic best friend was crazy for her. but, if he told her, he'd lift a huge weight off his back.
"i told you that i loved you."he finally said, feeling how the words seemed to float away. it was as if they'd be wanting to get away for a long time now. the first time he said he loved her -since before didn't count- and it wasn't as he had envisioned. it wasn't either romantic, or reciprocal…so it pretty much sucked. "and i still do, actually. see? i'm still being honest. you could have said something, molly, instead of making me feel awful. but i guess it's too late... at least i feel better now. he shrugged slightly, and then turned around and started walking towards the castle. he didn't dare to look back and check on her. if he did, he would rush back to her, and tell her he regretted everything he just said. he'd do anything to make her feel better. but he didn't look back, because he knew he wouldn't bear it. it was over now, and his broken heart made him keep going. molly could do nothing but hurt him even more now.
he licked his dry lips, and let the cold autumn air fill his lungs. he would need some distraction, soon, or he'd break down. and that wasn't very pretty. thank god he was seeing maddi now, she sure knew how to distract him. he walked briskly, students zooming by, but he didn't stop and to say hi. he didn't want to be late, ryan smith was never late
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Post by molly driver on Aug 24, 2008 10:27:16 GMT -5
` everything i've dreamed of was in front of me
molly just stood there, listening. how could he think that she thought that he didn't deserve a reaction? the fact that he felt the same was overwhelming to say the least. she couldn't look at him at that moment, or at all right now any more. he hated her, she thought, it was obvious.
but, her thoughts were confirmed when he walked away. did he really think that little of her, deep down? she looked up then, and watched him walk away. what he was going to do was unknown to her, but it wasn't like she had any choice in the matter anymore.
to her, it was like she'd never get her best friend back, and she'd never get the love of her life back. it was hard to believe, but it was happening to her, then and there.
"i loved you too," molly whispered silently into the wind. the words seemed to whip around her with the wind. she stood there, not believing what she'd just let happen.
she sighed, and once she knew he was inside, molly started walking toward the castle, afraid to bump into anyone she'd actually have to talk to.
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